I've Been There

Yes. I’ve been there.

I’ve been to the edge; ready to jump and end it all.

I’ve been at the strings, wishing they cut my throat and stop me from breathing.

Yes. I’ve been there.

There was no darkness, for there is no darkness in nothing. I’ve seen nothing. Nothing to live for, nothing to breathe for, and nothing to fight for.

Yes. I’ve been there.

There was no point in living if I only woke up to blood in my eyes and crows pecking at my feet. There was no point in living if I didn’t even like myself or what I have let myself turn into.

Yes. I’ve been there; a place where I hated myself, a place where I was too ashamed to ask for help.

Why can’t I ask for help? Maybe because they thought I was strong, they thought I was happy. They thought I was me.

There is no me anymore. There is nothing in me.

Yes. I’ve been there.

I guess I couldn’t really ask for help. Especially not when they look up to me, especially not when they think I can protect them.

Yes. I’ve been there.

I’ve been in a place where I can be surrounded by people who love me yet still be alone.

Yes. I’ve been there.

But do you see that? Been. Past tense.

I’m no longer there.

To be honest, I can find myself going back there, going back to that place. But I do not stay there for long.

Why?

Because I don’t belong there. I don’t. And neither do you.

Get up and walk. When you finally black out and see nothing in life, that is when you fight the hardest. You look for something.

Can’t find anything to live for?

Live for yourself. Get up. You’ve made it this far. Keep moving.

And when you get out of that place. Tell people your story.

Tell them how you’ve been there before.

Journey’s not over.

Keep walking.