Scream

I wish I can scream at life
I wish I can scream at me

I wish I can hold it together
I wish I didn't lose myself

I wish this wasn't so hard
I wish I could help myself the way I help people

I'm so pathetic
It's the start of a friggin new year and I'm like this
Scared
Broken
Miserable
Finished
Tired
Changed
Different
Anomalous
Problem


Those are just a few words

These words shouldn't be mine. they aren't mine.
But they're strong. stronger today

and it sucks

I wish
I wish
I wish I was stronger
I wish I would fight better
I wish my hands were big enough to punch my nightmares
I wish my legs are fast enough to run away from the lies
I wish I was strong enough
I wish I was strong
I wish I was
I wish I...
I wish
I


I need help
I need it badly
But who do I turn to
I can't even explain what I'm going through

And it's so early this year
no one would understand
but yeah. that's a lie. they'll understand.

someone will
somewhere

It's just. I can't even determine what's wrong with me
I can't


what the hell is this
what am I feeling
why can't be positive
why am I letting this defeat me
why
why am I not fighting back
why


I thought I was over this
I though I wouldn't go through this again
I thought this was over
I thought

God help