"I like you"

He told me he liked me last night
And those simple words gave my heart a fright

It was silly and it was small
Another love story where guy and girl would fall

I have forgotten what a hurricane of butterflies felt like
I have forgotten that silly love that was out of sight

It was not love, I know. But it made my hear flutter
This sensation is rare, how long will it last, I wonder?

He told me he adored the way I smiled
I enjoyed and savored his sweet words, even if it was just for a while

This is not a love story, for if it is; it wasn't very happy
I don't like him that way, but I do think of him fondly

I dreamt of his voice last night, the same on that told me he liked me
But dreams are just dreams, now this was reality

He is a friend who I care about, and that is all
My God is my life, and that's not small

My heart is of the Lord and I love Him deeply
I plan to just stay at His side and love Him truly

I love my God and this love is not a hurricane
It is a tornado of colors and an outburst of rain

God has said sweeter words to me and has shaken my soul
I promise I'd love Him forever, and love with my all

Scream

I wish I can scream at life
I wish I can scream at me

I wish I can hold it together
I wish I didn't lose myself

I wish this wasn't so hard
I wish I could help myself the way I help people

I'm so pathetic
It's the start of a friggin new year and I'm like this
Scared
Broken
Miserable
Finished
Tired
Changed
Different
Anomalous
Problem


Those are just a few words

These words shouldn't be mine. they aren't mine.
But they're strong. stronger today

and it sucks

I wish
I wish
I wish I was stronger
I wish I would fight better
I wish my hands were big enough to punch my nightmares
I wish my legs are fast enough to run away from the lies
I wish I was strong enough
I wish I was strong
I wish I was
I wish I...
I wish
I


I need help
I need it badly
But who do I turn to
I can't even explain what I'm going through

And it's so early this year
no one would understand
but yeah. that's a lie. they'll understand.

someone will
somewhere

It's just. I can't even determine what's wrong with me
I can't


what the hell is this
what am I feeling
why can't be positive
why am I letting this defeat me
why
why am I not fighting back
why


I thought I was over this
I though I wouldn't go through this again
I thought this was over
I thought

God help

What If

what if that's it

what if I can't be strong

what if I can't stop crying

what if I can't continue fighting

what if I don't even ask for help

what if I'm lost

what if I'm nothing and I've been nothing all along

what if this is it

what if this is me

what if I'll be like this forever

what if I'll die like this

what if



I don't know

I'm scared

I'm miserable

I'm broken

it's something no one can fix

I can't even fix it

my hands are useless

I'm a useless piece of trash



What if that's all I'll be

what if

what if

what if