"I like you"

He told me he liked me last night
And those simple words gave my heart a fright

It was silly and it was small
Another love story where guy and girl would fall

I have forgotten what a hurricane of butterflies felt like
I have forgotten that silly love that was out of sight

It was not love, I know. But it made my hear flutter
This sensation is rare, how long will it last, I wonder?

He told me he adored the way I smiled
I enjoyed and savored his sweet words, even if it was just for a while

This is not a love story, for if it is; it wasn't very happy
I don't like him that way, but I do think of him fondly

I dreamt of his voice last night, the same on that told me he liked me
But dreams are just dreams, now this was reality

He is a friend who I care about, and that is all
My God is my life, and that's not small

My heart is of the Lord and I love Him deeply
I plan to just stay at His side and love Him truly

I love my God and this love is not a hurricane
It is a tornado of colors and an outburst of rain

God has said sweeter words to me and has shaken my soul
I promise I'd love Him forever, and love with my all

Scream

I wish I can scream at life
I wish I can scream at me

I wish I can hold it together
I wish I didn't lose myself

I wish this wasn't so hard
I wish I could help myself the way I help people

I'm so pathetic
It's the start of a friggin new year and I'm like this
Scared
Broken
Miserable
Finished
Tired
Changed
Different
Anomalous
Problem


Those are just a few words

These words shouldn't be mine. they aren't mine.
But they're strong. stronger today

and it sucks

I wish
I wish
I wish I was stronger
I wish I would fight better
I wish my hands were big enough to punch my nightmares
I wish my legs are fast enough to run away from the lies
I wish I was strong enough
I wish I was strong
I wish I was
I wish I...
I wish
I


I need help
I need it badly
But who do I turn to
I can't even explain what I'm going through

And it's so early this year
no one would understand
but yeah. that's a lie. they'll understand.

someone will
somewhere

It's just. I can't even determine what's wrong with me
I can't


what the hell is this
what am I feeling
why can't be positive
why am I letting this defeat me
why
why am I not fighting back
why


I thought I was over this
I though I wouldn't go through this again
I thought this was over
I thought

God help

What If

what if that's it

what if I can't be strong

what if I can't stop crying

what if I can't continue fighting

what if I don't even ask for help

what if I'm lost

what if I'm nothing and I've been nothing all along

what if this is it

what if this is me

what if I'll be like this forever

what if I'll die like this

what if



I don't know

I'm scared

I'm miserable

I'm broken

it's something no one can fix

I can't even fix it

my hands are useless

I'm a useless piece of trash



What if that's all I'll be

what if

what if

what if

My Soul is Tired

I realize something I have not thought before
As I feel that my soul is tired and my mind forlorn

I can dance, I can smile, I can talk, and I can laugh
All of these I can do, still my soul is weak. Its lost scent would waft

I am not sad nor am I miserable or angry
My soul is just tired from carrying unwanted chains I cannot see

There's nothing wrong with me, at least that's what I feel
But that's what scare me; that there is nothing in me to heal

I feel like I could drown myself in slumber for a thousand years
I'd rather be sad and maybe a bit angry. I'd rather be in tears

I don't understand this, I don't understand this emptiness
I feels as if my insides are hollow and I am noting but a carcass

I am not sad, angry, happy, or scare. I feel nothing
I guess all I need is for my soul to rest and not drown in self-loathing

My soul is worn out and exhausted from burdens that aren't mine
My soul is weak and failing; and extinguished light that no longer shines

I'd run still to my God, even if I have to drag my feet
I'd run to Him, and maybe, just maybe, in His heart my soul can sleep

I just need rest and a few days without the chains
My ankles and wrists are already weak, tired from their pain

So goodbye, I say to you, as I start closing my eyes
In the Savior's shoulder I'll lean, in Him I'll send my sighs

Let Me Try

 

You've trapped yourself in your room and put on the locks

You've distance yourself from everyone and made walls from rocks

I wish I could take it away; the pain in your voice

I wish I could make things better. That would always be my choice

 

I trust the Lord with all my heart, placing my worries in His hands

But still I wish you'd call me back, so I could understand

I wish you're safe and I wish you chose not to be alone

I wish you'd talk to someone, or you know, just pick up the phone

 

I don't feel as helpless as I'd always feel before

I no longer feel like screaming or crying until my eyes were sore

I just wish you weren't so alone facing your demons, I wish you'd call

I wish you'd ask for help, and not carry these rocks until you fall

 

I love you. I wish I remind you of that on the phone

I love you. I wish all of your sadness will just be gone

Please hold on, please be strong

Fight the darkness; it is there where you don't belong

 

I am writing this poem not because I doubt the Lord

I am writing this because my thoughts has to be heard

I no longer worry nor do I doubt

I do not cry as well, but sadness is still my route

 

I am saddened that I do not see what's happening

I am saddened that I cannot touch my loved ones who are hurting

I wish... there were more of these words I would say

I wish I could take all of your sadness away

The Calm in my Storm

 

I believe in clawing at the stars and wishing they were near

I believe in calling out to the Lord and wishing He was here

 

He is here with me, I know. He is here beside me
I wish they could feel Him too, feel this warmth that's lovely

 

I believe in dancing as I watch my feet plunge through rocks
I believe in feeling the wounds and blood on my socks

I believe in the pain, but I believe He's there
I believe in the storm, but He calms me, I am aware

He lessens the blows and holds my hand

He is here even as I walk on glass in the sand

 

It is not how painful it gets, nor is it about the fear

It has always been about the healing in the end, and the proof that He's near

 

God is there in the air I breathe

He is also there in the times I weep

 

I need Him in the storms as I do in my calm

He is with me through it all, my life in His mighty palm

 

I do not ask for less pain, I ask that He keeps me strong

I ask for the sky and His love where I know I belong

 

He calms me in the faces of hungry lions set to kill me

I trust Him will my all; in Him my soul is free

Lives lost in Syria and Paris

I'm sorry.

I am sorry the rest of the world is powerless and useless. I am sorry we cannot bring back the innocents who have died because of selfish deeds of evil people who seek revenge in the most ridiculous places.

I am sorry they slaughtered innocent children, men, and women.

I am sorry I can only sympathize with you and still be do nothing to ease your pain.

I am sorry.

It disgusts me when I hear or see what they did, it infuriates me whenever I look at the images online. It enrages me even more that that is all I can do. All I can do is look.

It is not justice nor is it fair to kill just for revenge. They've taken revenge out of people who had nothing to do with whatever that had caused their hatred.

I am sorry you had to lose people you love.

I am sorry.

I have no idea what your pain is.

But I know this will end. We will end this madness. We will stop punishing the innocent and start taking justice without murder.

This will end.

Don't lose hope.