My Soul is Tired

I realize something I have not thought before
As I feel that my soul is tired and my mind forlorn

I can dance, I can smile, I can talk, and I can laugh
All of these I can do, still my soul is weak. Its lost scent would waft

I am not sad nor am I miserable or angry
My soul is just tired from carrying unwanted chains I cannot see

There's nothing wrong with me, at least that's what I feel
But that's what scare me; that there is nothing in me to heal

I feel like I could drown myself in slumber for a thousand years
I'd rather be sad and maybe a bit angry. I'd rather be in tears

I don't understand this, I don't understand this emptiness
I feels as if my insides are hollow and I am noting but a carcass

I am not sad, angry, happy, or scare. I feel nothing
I guess all I need is for my soul to rest and not drown in self-loathing

My soul is worn out and exhausted from burdens that aren't mine
My soul is weak and failing; and extinguished light that no longer shines

I'd run still to my God, even if I have to drag my feet
I'd run to Him, and maybe, just maybe, in His heart my soul can sleep

I just need rest and a few days without the chains
My ankles and wrists are already weak, tired from their pain

So goodbye, I say to you, as I start closing my eyes
In the Savior's shoulder I'll lean, in Him I'll send my sighs

Let Me Try

 

You've trapped yourself in your room and put on the locks

You've distance yourself from everyone and made walls from rocks

I wish I could take it away; the pain in your voice

I wish I could make things better. That would always be my choice

 

I trust the Lord with all my heart, placing my worries in His hands

But still I wish you'd call me back, so I could understand

I wish you're safe and I wish you chose not to be alone

I wish you'd talk to someone, or you know, just pick up the phone

 

I don't feel as helpless as I'd always feel before

I no longer feel like screaming or crying until my eyes were sore

I just wish you weren't so alone facing your demons, I wish you'd call

I wish you'd ask for help, and not carry these rocks until you fall

 

I love you. I wish I remind you of that on the phone

I love you. I wish all of your sadness will just be gone

Please hold on, please be strong

Fight the darkness; it is there where you don't belong

 

I am writing this poem not because I doubt the Lord

I am writing this because my thoughts has to be heard

I no longer worry nor do I doubt

I do not cry as well, but sadness is still my route

 

I am saddened that I do not see what's happening

I am saddened that I cannot touch my loved ones who are hurting

I wish... there were more of these words I would say

I wish I could take all of your sadness away

The Calm in my Storm

 

I believe in clawing at the stars and wishing they were near

I believe in calling out to the Lord and wishing He was here

 

He is here with me, I know. He is here beside me
I wish they could feel Him too, feel this warmth that's lovely

 

I believe in dancing as I watch my feet plunge through rocks
I believe in feeling the wounds and blood on my socks

I believe in the pain, but I believe He's there
I believe in the storm, but He calms me, I am aware

He lessens the blows and holds my hand

He is here even as I walk on glass in the sand

 

It is not how painful it gets, nor is it about the fear

It has always been about the healing in the end, and the proof that He's near

 

God is there in the air I breathe

He is also there in the times I weep

 

I need Him in the storms as I do in my calm

He is with me through it all, my life in His mighty palm

 

I do not ask for less pain, I ask that He keeps me strong

I ask for the sky and His love where I know I belong

 

He calms me in the faces of hungry lions set to kill me

I trust Him will my all; in Him my soul is free